First Kill
by Ramica
Summary: Even though, they value life they must kill once in a while. This story is a look at the four turtles first kill. First up Donatello.


**The First Kill. **

**Rated:T -**to be on the safe side.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the ninja kicking turtles no matter what their age.

**Author's Note:** I decided it might be interesting to do a four chapter story based on each of the boy's first kills. For while the boys have been taught to value life, there are times they must kill. The first kill probably came when they were young and it may have effected who they are, or came to be in some ways. I did a story something like this for my Rama series called "Of Life and Death." But in it I followed through to all the trauma of the first kill onward. Here I try to focus only on the first kill -Ramica

**First Chapter: **

_For every ninja there are two difficult kills to make. The first kill because it is when you, must take a life and decide if you will continue to do so. The second, most difficult kill is the one you make after you have decided to accept killing; because the mind and the body may be in disagreement, you may hesitate and change your mind. You must accept the death and be ready for it -_from the Fanfic "Of Life and Death by Ramica"

**Donatello:**

Splinter stood before his eleven year old sons in the dojo, their training had gone well today and the rodent smiled at his students. "You have trained well, and hard my sons. You have truly earned a reward."

"Oh cool does that mean we get a pizza?" Mike interrupted.

Leo jabbed his brother with an elbow and hissed none too quietly "Shut up!"

Splinter tried not to laugh, " I will consider it Michaelangelo, however I meant a different sort of reward one that will take you further in your training of ninjitsu." He explained patiently, " I would like each of you to consider a weapon that you will carry with you."

Leo's eyes lit up at those words, "Really Master, I'd like the katana."

"The katana is a heavy sword my son, perhaps in time you may wield one but for now I suggest one of the smaller lighter swords."

Mike and Raph chose the weapons they enjoyed most for Mike it was the nunchucks and for Raph it was the sai. Splinter turned to his last son who had still not made a choice.

"What weapon would you like, Donatello?"

Donatello looked up, "Um…I uh," he ducked his head and took a deep breath then blurted out. " I'd like to have a shorter sword and a bow with arrows."

Splinter arched a bushy eyebrow at the boys choice, "The bow and arrow is good for distance fighting and the sword for close up an excellent combination my son, and well thought out. But tell me, how did you come upon this choice?"

Don gave a small weak smile, "The story of Robin Hood," the boy replied innocently.

"Ah, of course," the rat nodded his head in understanding. He had read the story of Robin Hood to the boys when they were only eight but Don had been fascinated by the story and often asked for it again, or took the battered copy of the story of Robin Hood to read for himself.

XXX

**A year later. **

"Donatello, tonight I will be expecting you to come with me on our scavenging trip."

Don tried to hide his excitement at that announcement, sometimes when searching the dumpsters for useful stuff for the family, he would find some item that he wanted to bring back to the lair and work on - things his Master might overlook but he knew could be used- and his Mentor would permit him to bring the items back simply, because he had learned by now, that his purple masked son was quite adept at fixing things.

Splinter sensed his excitement and the disappointed look of Leonardo and Raphael. "You know you will all have your turns topside on scavenging excursions. Donatello do not forget to bring your weapons."

"I won't Master." Don bowed low.

That night he and his father snuck quietly out into the silent dark alley. Don grimaced a little, the smells and noise up here did take some getting used to.

As usual the young turtle boy stuck close to his father as they slipped from shadow to shadow, keeping to dark places hardly going where the light touched, slipping like black ghosts from one dark nether region to another, as they made their rounds of certain dumpsters.

Once in a while they would hear the sound of voices near by some from the buildings around them, others coming from the street. Don would almost reflectively shrink back when he heard people talking or shouting.

"It is all right Donatello, if we keep to the shadows they will not know we are here," Splinter assured his son, he placed a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. "It is all right to be afraid, but you must face your fear, be wary but do **not **give in to your trepidations."

"Yes, Master" the boy whispered.

"Come on we have a few more dumpsters to check." Splinter said as he moved off making sure that the boy was indeed following after him as he continued.

They came to a large dumpster and both of them climbed into the dumpster to check out what they could find within. Splinter found a few items of food that might still be good to eat.

Don began searching too but this dumpster didn't seem to have anything useful for him. Oh well, he couldn't get lucky on all of them.

"Come Donatello most anything else will be buried and ruined beyond use." Splinter quickly used his nose and eyes to check the surrounding area before lifting Donatello out of the bin. "Wait for me, under the fire escape."

Don nodded and scrambled to obey knowing that under the fire escape was where the shadows were thickest, and that his father would be a few seconds behind him. But as he moved into the shadows his foot kicked a bottle of some kind and a strange smell wafted to his nostrils.

"Ick!" the young turtle muttered suddenly an arm grabbed him and he let loose a yell.

"Let him **GO!**" his father snapped, Splinter lunged forward and struck with his walking stick at the mass of dirty rags that held him. Don was released and he scrambled half panicked towards the dumpster. His heart was pounding hard and fast against his plastron.

"Man surrres a big sower rat," the voice slurred.

Splinter ducked as an arm was swung his way and with a kick the rodent sent the drunk back into the wall. Sure the inebriated fool would not be rising too quickly, the rat was quick to turn and try to get his son to safety, but his instincts were still alert to what was going on behind him.

He sensed more than saw, the huge bulk lunging at him as he moved, the rat veered to one side trying to avoid the drunk. The drunk staggered, and stood uneasily swaying, and muttering something incoherent.

Splinter tried to back up towards Donatello, wanting only to get away from the homeless rummy. The guy tried to run and swing at Splinter, the Master dived low and raised his stick hoping to trip the fellow. The guy fell hard and he moved to grab onto Splinter's tail, only managed to grab the end of the staff.

Although inebriated the fellow was strong and Splinter was taken by surprise when he was pulled forward and gripped by strong arms, " yer not escaping' ittle rat."

Donny watched as the fellow rose still holding his father who was struggling to get loose. The boy trembled uneasily and then, moving without thinking the boy snatched his bow and an arrow from his back. He notched the arrow and let first one then another loose.

The first arrow struck into the arm and the drunk screamed letting Splinter go, and the second arrow pierced into the fellow's eye and far back. A third arrow followed the first two piercing the stomach.

The drunk fell down Splinter knew he could not leave the arrows there, a drunk dead of strange deep wounds might not raise too many questions but a drunk found with arrows in him might raise too many questions, besides the arrows could be used again and weapons were not easy to come by.

He quickly herded his son to the safety of the sewers, the boy was shaking and gulping air.

"It is all right Donatello, what you did, helped me." Splinter soothed.

"Is he…" Don gulped, "the blood is he…um" he hesitated then in a very low soft voice, "dead?"

Splinter sighed wondering what to tell his intelligent, yet sensitive son. He knew full well that the truth would be harsh and yet, to lie to him would do him no good either. Besides, while Splinter would rather his sons did not kill he knew that their may be times when to protect themselves they might have to kill another.

"Yes, the one to the eye was fatal in itself my son."

Don shook and scrambled trying to back away from his father, "No, no I couldn't. I didn't want to…I just wanted to help you." he whimpered.

"Your heart was in the right place Donatello," Splinter assured him, pulling the boy into his arms and seeking to comfort him. "Sometimes to help those we love, we must harm someone else who is seeking to hurt them."

"I don't want these weapons they kill." Don gasped.

"All weapons kill Donatello, weapons can inflict harm and are often used to kill. I want you to carry these weapons with you for awhile longer son." Splinter insisted firmly, "you must use the bow and arrow one more time in combat at least before I let you lay them aside."

Don winced and tried to pull away from his mentor but Splinter held him close refusing to let him back away, "What you did, you did for love for the right reasons. You sought to protect me, as I wanted to protect you."

Don shook his head, not knowing what to say. Then he looked up at his father, " I thought killing was wrong."

"It is, and it should only be done when there is no other choice left. You were concerned for me, and what you did was the right thing to do, my son. You did nothing wrong." Splinter knew it would take some time for the boy to come to terms with things.

It was not an easy road and yet it was one that sooner or later all of his sons would have to travel it. All he could do was be there and offer guidance and support knowing that the boy would need both.

XXX

As expected it did take some time, for Donatello to over come his fears and worries and a great deal of reassurance. Splinter, did his best to aid his son in all ways and fashions he could.

He stepped in and stopped the teasings of the other three, "He has been through a great deal my sons, be patient and understanding of your brother, remember to understand a person you must walk a mile in their shoes."

"But Master, we don't wear shoes." Mike said.

"Ah, but trust me Michaelangelo, one day you will be where Don is now, and you will want some compassion and understanding, so try to show it to him." Splinter soothed.

The rodent Master helped Don through his grief, pain and torment. He sat with his purple masked son in the dojo, where he'd been instructing the boy in meditation techniques and counselling him.

"How are things for you now Donatello?"

"Better Master. I still can't say I care for killing, or that I want to kill again." He confessed, "But Master, I'd prefer not to kill. I think when you let me put down the bow and sword, I'll take up the bo staff."

"It is wise to value all life my son, and I am pleased to see you honour such things. But even though you feel you can't kill do you feel that if you had to do it to help me again, or perhaps to aide one of your brother's you would?"

Don nodded, "If I had to. I hope it never comes to that though."

"As do I Donatello, for life is sacred, and should be respected and valued over all else. But when the needs arise, it is good to know that the life of those you love are safe in your hands." Splinter sighed. "I know the last few weeks have been hard on you Donatello, and our life will never be an easy one. There may come a time when, your brother's must also make the choice to kill or not."

"I hope they never have to," Don declared, "I don't want anyone to go through this."

Splinter reached out and cupped his son's face in one of his hands, "You have grown much my son, you carry a greater weight on your shoulders and this has aged you in ways, I wish did not have to be my son, and yet I fear that there was no way to be avoided either."

Don glanced up at his Master, "Much as I don't like killing. I was afraid for you, and all I wanted was to help you."

Splinter smiled, "You did my son, and you have made me proud."

TBC


End file.
